This is not for the faint of heart as it requires being truthful, some introspection and yes, honesty when you look inside, at yourself. But over the years, I’ve heard many friends, colleagues, subordinates and managers above me complain bitterly about their jobs. Sometimes justified, and sometimes not. But one common theme that invariably holds true in all cases is the desire to complain, without doing anything to improve the situation.
So to be clear, we’re not talking about the “one off” complaints. We all do this. My PC is acting up. I had to work some overtime. My boss was bitchy today. Someone is in a shitty mood today! Trains were late. Woke up late. These are things you need to learn to live with as nothing will ever resolve these for good. So move on.
But then there are the longer term problems that make your job a daily hell. Your boss is incompetent and has it in for you. Someone in the office doesn’t like you and gives you a hard time, all the time. You’re overworked & underpaid. No one respects your opinion. Need I go on?
Self-deception? Are you the problem?
So let’s start with you (that’s right, You)! Are you looking for self-improvement? Have you ever had a true look inside at yourself (Introspection)? What type of person are you? Patient or impatient? Respectful to others or do you treat people like objects, to satisfy your needs? Enthusiastic or a dullard? Compassionate or a horse’s ass? Or are you “perfect” in every way and everyone else is the problem? Possibly. For now, hold that thought.
Introspection is a necessary skill in all of us, to guard against self-deception. We love to lie to ourselves to sooth our hurts and egos. Wikipedia defines self-deception as: –
A process of denying or rationalising away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument. Self-deception involves convincing oneself of a truth (or lack of truth) so that one does not reveal any self-knowledge of the deception.
Pretty heady stuff! Boiling it down, it means you’re lying to yourself and not being honest deep down inside, on the truth of a situation. People are not rational animals, they are rationalising animals. We are normally not honest with ourselves when something conflicts with our views of ourselves or our worlds. So we invent excuses to allow these contradictory beliefs to co-exist in ourselves. Examples which we have all seen and heard.
- It’s not my fault I’m late for work again.
- It was his/her fault for not “doing something”.
- I know he loves me (even though he has cheated on me 16 times).
- It’s not my fault she is too stupid to understand me.
- I’m overweight because I don’t have time to exercise.
- It’s my manager’s fault for not making time for me!
Sometimes these contradictory beliefs are intentional, sometimes non-intentional. Doesn’t really matter either way as the problem exists and you need to figure out how to make things better at work. Introspection is a start as its a real look inside.
You can find more here: https://corpcandour.com/why-you-dont-succeed-in-a-company/
